I struggle with "homemaking".
I think I know why, its because when I do it well, it makes me invisible.
When its just me, my house is oh so clean and ORGANIZED and tidy, and there are little personal touches, like some flowers on the table. When I say just me, I mean to say me and the kids. I'm not talking about being alone and there only being my own mess to worry about. Except for right after a baby arrives, my life with JUST kids (no matter the number) runs along smoothly with a nice flow, in breathe, out breathe...when life gets complicated I simplify. When life isn't complicated I enrich the flow with extra stuff.
But when I'm not alone (as in Papa Pan is there) he has expectations - like meat included in dinner - which overwelm me on a complicated kind of day, but I do make that meat dish..
But if everything looks like it's just going along swimmingly he doesn't notice that I'm floundering and the "flow" is becoming an undertow thats dragging me down. He doesn't think to help because I appear to have it all under control. Then I rebel and I am unwilling to clean up the mess he left in the kitchen in the morning (cause some invisible little house fairy always magically cleans it up) and he comes home to the mess and at least NOTICES that I didn't clean it up and I finally get to point out all I do do in a day by NOT doing it one day.
Of course, he's peeved that the place is a mess then. But its a mess because I need some acknowledgement that I'm the one who keeps that mess at bay all the time! I know, its a temper tantrum, but there you go.
This is what I need to hear - http://www.wolfville.org/i-dont-mind