More than survival

I was reading at a board I love (http://www.yaaps.com/) and there was a thread about being a good homemaker. You know, the traditional view of that - beautiful decorated house, clean and tidy, wonderful meals every night, as well as being a fun attentive mommy and a fabulous partner in kitten heels and lipstick. Well, a lot of us feel guilt about not doing it "right" and what is "right" and just what would we have to sacrifice to do it "right"



It got me thinking about how I operate these days. Sprout is in a growth spurt - all 17 lbs of him is breastmilk and cuddles - and how absolutely exhausted I am, and how down I am on my lack of any great homemaking these days. I don't feel like the house is falling apart, but I do feel like I'm in survival mode and I'd like some more room for the niceties in life. We've been here two months and I'd like the front curtains up! I hate my brown bedroom! I'd like to really set the table for a meal, you know with placemats and nice serving dishes. Why do I feel bad that I haven't painted the kids room yet, haven't sewn curtains for their windows and closet doors? I am not in a nice little "simple groove" where I can get up an hour ahead of everyone, meditate and do yoga, wake the kids with songs and a hot breakfast, have people over for a playgroup during the day, and have a hobby in my spare time. Oh and while we're at it, I'd like time to get in my studio and paint! And you know, I do have a pretty simple life - very little stuff, a small house, I'm a stay at home mom. Where does the time go???



It is 9:40 in the morning,



I've gotten Nature Girl off to school with clean clothes on, a packed lunch, hair in ponytails, teeth brushed, breakfast eaten, homework done and in her bag, skates going back for skating day. She left in freshly laundered snowgear too, and dry boots (yesterday everything was a sodden mess from playing out in the snow) I remembered to pack $2.25 in case she wants hot lunch at school.



After she left I did a whirlwind tidy in her room. If I don't keep on top of her stuff it very quickly deteriorates into chaos in there and she can't function. So I get her doing something every day - she makes her bed, she puts away laundry in small quantities and she puts away her toys if I manage the number she has in her room. But I take care of most of the clothes and all of the flotsam that ends up in her room.



The Sprout has nursed, been changed, is in clean dry clothes. He's happy hanging out with Wild Thing for now.



Wild Thing has nursed, given a chance to pee in the potty, eaten breakfast, and fingerpainted. He's playing in the playroom.



The cat and dog have been fed, the dog's been out for a pee and a poop.



I've drunk two cups of coffee while catching up online and listening for the dryer to buzz.

Okay, it is 5:02 now and this is what else I did today


I feel like I spent most of today attending to requests for snacks or nursing from children and the dog, doing laundry, tidying up Wild Thing's room, making a hot lunch (left over waffles), cleaning the kitchen over and over again, nursing, changing diapers, giving Wild Thing a bath, talked to my mom for a little while while I cleaned, doing laundry, and dreading making dinner (beets - and I will remember to keep the juice so the kids can paint with it in the snow!). I talked with Dark Mirror for awhile. I played with the Sprout (copying his sounds, doing some finger rhymes, and let him feel a cloth book full of textures. A letter came home about head lice and Nature Girl has OLD NITS - from an infestation back in the fall - do not get me started - but she can't return to school until I pinch out every last mother frigging one of them!!!! No nitcomb in the world can take out old deflated empty nits. There was no evidence of lice THANK ALL THAT IS HOLY) So that, in a nutshell, is my evening too.

I think I'll call Papa Pan and ask he pick up a Pizza on his way home.

I'll change my tshirt when the spit up on the shoulder of this one gets to me - hopefully before Papa Pan gets home. Oh and if you go down to my post about our play and look at the pictures of the playroom you'll see where poor Papa Pan is sleeping right now. He has 3 hours of commuting to do each day and the Sprout is awake so often during the night that he can't sleep well with us, so he's camping out in the playroom.

Just where is the room for niceties right now???

What was that question again?

The problem with self administered tests is that you are aware of what you're being asked about.

"Do you have a hard time doing an assignment when it gets boring?"

"what was the question again?" running out the door

"Come back here and I'll ask it again, do you have a hard time doing an assignment when it gets boring?"

Standing on head, looking at belly button, "what was the question again???"

Wash, rinse, repeat 4 times.

"Okay, last time I'm asking this, Do you have a hard time finishing an assignment when it gets boring, never, once a week, 2 times a week or nearly every day???" PEN CLENCHED TIGHTLY IN FIST

"ohhhhh....I'm thinking....NEVER!" runs off down hall again.

*sigh*

Its a good thing I have to fill out questionaires and so does her teacher!

SNOW DAY AGAIN!

This is the play house part of the playroom. Abandoned while they were outside playing. Usually a hub of activity.



Nature girl and her zoo. I'm building new shelves to hold the baskets of toys but for now they just live along this wall.


The herbivore paddock, cows, goats, sheep, and giraffes.
"Mine peoples are canoeing. Mama? Go away, I'm busy playing."

I don't get nearly as many pictures of my kids as I'd like. Maybe if the camera was always out. Generally I feel like I'm interfering in my kid's lives if I start taking pictures though. I think a lot of waldorf families have the same kind of experience. I feel like I'm being let in on a really special secret world when my kids are playing imaginatively around me. If I pull out the camera they get self conscious and my invitation to their private inner world gets rescinded.

Today there was a lot of play I got invited to watch. There was a zoo built out of cloth and with wooden animals. There was a giant paddock with all the animals that could get along together (herbivores), and individual pens for each of the carnivores. There was pirate adventures in the tub, there was a big meeting of mythical creatures, elves, mermaids, unicorns and what have you on the livingroom couch, there was a great shovelling wet snow adventure in the back yard. I got a few sneaky shots of the playroom and they don't do any of it justice.

How to spend all day with people with ADD

I parent one of them and I'm partnered to one of them, and I may even be a bit of one myself, so I should know right?

Well apparently not! We visited the ADD Clinic yesterday and it was quite the education for me.

The office was full of confidence boosting "ADD is Great!" posters and articles and everything was in point form and shiny and attention drawing in some way. Amongst the posters were directives by the office too, posted multiple times and in big bold letters.

First, I noticed there wasn't a cancellation policy ...in defiance of popular logic, there is a confirmation policy instead. No, "If you no show without cancelling we'll charge you an annoyance fee" instead, "if you do not confirm 48 hours ahead we're cancelling your appointment, and our office staff will only call ONCE to remind you you have an appointment to come for".

The second thing I noticed was that if you insist on gabbing away to the doctor past your scheduled appointrment time, she's going to charge you for every minute! The sign for this listed the fees.

The third thing I found interesting was that EVERYTHING is done in writing, no "here's your next appointment" chat, or appointment written on a little card. Instead they mail this info to you in big bright - can't lose it in a pocket - envelopes.

Isn't that a positive way to save your sanity, avoid saying things like "You're always late and I'm not staying late to accomodate you" and "I know you're going to forget what I'm saying, shall I write it on your forehead???"

This morning I taped all our bills around the house next to big shiny posters that said things like "Papa Pan! You look marvelous in that flannel shirt!" and "Being spontaneous is great!"

I need more glitter though.

Its nesting season!!!!! Its nesting season!!!!

Yesterday on the way out of town to a doctor's appointment do you know what I saw? A mated pair of BALD EAGLES sitting in a tree!!! I've seen about a couple dozen eagles since I got here, but these two were the most wonderful by far!!!

Rolling down Main Street, early morning golden sunlight flashing off the white caps and matching yellow gleam of their eyes. Just sitting in a tree outside someone's house.

They looked utterly majestic and mundane at the same time. Thats how wildlife should be, startlingly beautiful but totally normal to see around us.

SUCCESS!!!

Today was a red letter day for the Sprout. After a week of frustration trying to roll from back to tummy he shook things up by rolling from tummy to back.

Onlookers hooted and hollered in support. Those that missed it demanded an instant replay.

When asked how he felt about this he stuck his thumb in his mouth as if to say "Look what else I figured out today!"

Stay tuned for more action packed updates!

Nature Girl loves being part of a big family...

Now that Sprout is smiling and cooing and trying to roll over and scooting about on his belly, generally being cute as a button, Nature Girl has begun asking when I'm going to have another baby.

"I think I'm done love, five children, 4 babies is enough for me."

"But what if you had a surprise baby?"

"I'd love the stuffing right out of it, but I don't think we'll have any more babies here."

"Don't you want more?"

"Well, really, I don't think I'll ever get enough of kids, I love babies and children and every day I love you all even more."

"Then we need to go to an orphanarium and get some more."