The I Hate It Rap

Wild Thing is going through a rough period. He's given up napping and by bedtime is a surly little drunkard.

Yesterday was a particularly terrible, no good, very bad day. He fell down the stairs TWICE, got sent to his room for dumping Sprout out of his chair so HE could sit there, and then to add injury to insult, when I carried him to bed oh so lovingly, I accidently whacked his head on the headboard putting him down...and so began the rap...

I hurting my head I HATE that.
My head needs kisses and I HATE kisses
I no need a nap I HATE naps.
I want the dark to go away I HATE night time
I no want any apples I HATE apples
When we go to the farmer's market I HATE the man who gives children and mamas apples
Those apples are YUCKY, they no been washed and I HATE that, and, and they have bruises and I HATE bruises on mine apples.
I want mine apples clean and cut up because I HATE seeds and skin, but, but I no want my skin cut off because I hold my apples by their skin or they are YUCKY and I HATE yucky apples.
I HATE yucky peaches too.
I HATE the pit in mine peaches.
I HATE their yucky furry skin
I HATE their yucky peach cause mine hands get all sticky.
And, And, I Wild Thing and thats why I HATE peaches.

I really couldn't keep up with the litany and if I tried to interject with something positive it just got him going even faster with what he hated so after about 10 minutes of this, and trying not to laugh outloud (luckily we were in the dark cause he would have HATED to see my smile!) I said I had to go and yes he HATED that too, but I said I'd be back and that was okay.

SNOW DAY!!!!

First of all everyone slept in .... ah bliss! 8:00 feels so decadent these days!!!

Nature Girl played in her room with Pollys until she was ready for breakfast.

Wild Thing and I cuddled until he was ready to get dressed. Nature Girl helped him.
We had a snow day breakfast - toast with almond butter and blueberry jam, mincemeat pie...and olives. Hmmm, my kids have strange palates what can I say?

The Sprout woke up in a fine mood.

Wild Thing and I played with the recorders.

We moved bookcases around in the Family room.

Nature Girl read to Wild Thing - Mouse Paint - http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Mouse-Paint-Ellen-Stoll-Walsh/9780152001186-item.html

I read to everyone. The Mare's Egg - http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/The-Mares-Egg-Spray-Fave-Atwood/9780920656075-item.html?ref=Search+Books%3a+%2527mare%2527s+Egg%2527&sterm=mare's+Egg+-+Books

I did laundry while Sprout napped and they played pirates. They drew monsters too.

When Sprout woke up Nature Girl changed his diaper and got him dressed with just a little help from me.

We played yoga games - http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Yoga-Pretzels-Fun-Yoga-Activities-Barefoot-Books-Inc/9781905236046-item.html?ref=Search+Books%3a+%2527yoga+Kids%2527

We had sloppy joes for lunch.

They played fishermen. They bounced on the bed downstairs "On your bums only and watch those elbows!"

When Sprout went down for an afternoon nap we went out to play in the snow. I shovelled the driveway until my asthma made me stop, Nature Girl did the walkway and the steps. Snow angels fill the front yard.

I got out fish for dinner.

We all sat around eating mandarin oranges and chatting. Apparently, pirates always listen to their mummies, and they like eating carrots, broccoli - if it is cooked, and chocolate Santa figures. I never knew!

Papa Pan got home and made us his special fish fry (yummmmm!!!!) while I worked out the issue of where to keep the television in the Family room. We've agreed we watch it SO little that we might as well put it in the closet and plug it in when we want to watch something. Which of course will mean we watch even less - always a good thing.

We ate, did more spelling homework, and Nature Girl read The Mole Sisters and the piece of Moss http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Mole-Sisters-and-Piece-Moss-Roslyn-Schwartz/9781550375831-item.html?ref=Search+Books%3a+%2527mole+Sisters%2527

Bedtime for Wild Thing and Sprout, I read Sun Bread http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Sun-Bread-Elisa-Kleven/9780142400739-item.html?ref=Search+Books%3a+%2527sun+bread%2527 to Wild Thing. Some Club Penguin time for Nature Girl, then her bedtime. We read Sky Tree - http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Sky-Tree-Thomas-Locker/9780064437509-item.html?ref=Search+Books%3a+%2527sky+tree%2527.

I nursed a lot, changed diapers a lot, tidied a lot, checked email occasionally, joined a Facebook group - The Story of Stuff, and signed a "Save Scrabulous" petition.

I also joined a new site/service - http://www.pickuppal.com/pup/intro.html. Pickuppal.com - no it isn't a dating site! It is a networking site for drivers with space to spare, passengers and stuff in need of a ride. Check it out, and reduce your carbon footprint!!!

It was a really easygoing day for me - Nature Girl entertained the Wild Thing, and Papa Pan made us dinner!

Decorating with kids

Wild Thing's room is first on our list of rooms to personalize. It shares a wall with our room and it is so big and empty and hardwood floor-y that you can hear a pin drop. Its usually towers of blocks dropping though. I'm starting to get a little shellshocked. We've been on the look out for SOFT furnishings that will deaden the noise.

The room is being decorated around 3 items - a night light that Wild Thing is absolutely in love with (it changes colour and I let him push the button if he uses the potty), a banner of dragons that his Oma brought back from China, and his new monster pelt.

We were in Costco stocking up on spaghetti and olives and I saw a giant pile of colourful (!!!???) sheepskins. It looked like a pile of skinned muppets, and I said as much while holding up a blue one. Nature Girl said "No it's SULLY!!!" from Monsters Inc. Well I could just see the scene from the sequel in my head - Wild Thing, not only unafraid of the Monsters in his closet, but hunting them down and displaying their skins as trophies.

Wild Thing has been upset about the Sprout using HIS sheepie, so we bought it for him.

He adores it.

Two Peas in a Pd

In October I read an amazing book called A Pace of Grace by Linda Kavelin Popov. Its a program for using universal Virtues to create a really sustainable lifestyle. http://paceofgrace.net/index.htm

There are 4 components

1. Purify Your Life
2. Pace Yourself
3. Practice the Presence
4. Plan a Sustainable Life

My greatest Vice is Excess. it is usually wrapped up in a bunch of Virtues though - like Compassion for others, Enthusiasm, Generosity, Idealism and Zeal, and I burn out on all my good intentions. It has been hard to see the harm this has been causing me because of all the good things tied into it. This program has been helping me find a balance and to practice Mindfulness and Moderation.

At the same time as I've been putting this program into action in my own life I've been facing Nature Girl's diagnosis of ADHD and worrying that the school will insist on medicating the Energy, Independence, Creativity, and Individuality out of her. This is a wonderful little girl who is very eager to please and wants to be obedient, and the deficient attention often get her in trouble in school. It has had a serious effect on her self esteem and her joy about learning. She doesn't do well with the school format of competitive spelling challenges, timed note taking, timed tests, and memorization of math facts. One on one or in a very small group she excels though. She excels when she's studying something of high interest (Natural science and history). So I've been researching alternatives.

I found a program that is individualized - the A-4 Healing Program http://www.4ahealing.com/index.html

Nutritional Therapy, Supplementation, Detoxification, and targeted Medication (and we aren't talking stimulants, we're talking anti-fungals, antivirals, and targeted psychiatric medications to deal with specific symptoms) - very similar to "Purify Your Life".

The doctor/author who is pioneering this approach is very clear that the goal with treating ADHD should be to allow the person to remain true to their personality while treating the issues that cause suffering - to them, not the people around them. He is an advocate for the normal variations in personality seen in kids with ADHD and points out that these "problem" kids do just fine in unrestricted environments and that the phenomena of "growing out of ADHD" is more an issue of reaching adulthood and then seeking out environments that are of their own choosing, as they work on tasks that interest them.

The trick is for them to make it to adulthood with their self esteem intact so they feel they can make those choices. From the research I've been doing this task is MUCH harder for girls than it is boys. Mainly because girls are more socially keyed in and aware of their differences and bothered by it. I see this in Nature Girl, and it scares me. The thing is, Nature Girl has taken part in many extracurricular activities and none of those teachers would ever say she had any kind of a disability or attention problem - soccer, skiing, art classes, dance classes, violin lessons, and her Baha'i children's classes. Ideally I'd have her in a private school environment that met her social needs and gave her the interest driven curriculum, and one on one attention she needs for academic success. Or we'd home-school within a good cooperative social network. I'm not allowed to explore either option with her, she must be in public school. So what now? How do I advocate for her at school? It seems her best option is to be identified as having a marked disability and singled out for intensive resource help and even given the help of an aide in class for the one on one she needs - I have to play the role of uncooperative anti drug mum in that event. She will recognize that she is being treated as "different" though, and I'm afraid she will see herself as less intelligent than she is.

Outside of school we'll continue as we have - a moderate number of extracurricular activities that give her a place to excel, chores that help her with organization and attention, and a spiritual education that promotes the Virtues and an understanding of the Gifts she has been blessed with. Here we have Popov's- Pace Yourself, Practice the Presence, and Plan a Sustainable Life.

Nature Girl and I are very similar and maybe the secret is for me to model the self-esteem she is going to need.

The start of something good....

Mornings are feeling pretty sane here. Nature Girl doesn't have to leave for school until 8am (in Quebec she had to be out the door to get her bus at 7:30) and we've been having no arguments about getting up, clothes, breakfast, tooth brushing, or hair pulling...I mean combing. I'm not sure if it is an existing calmness or if I'm actually creating something here but after breakfast and before tooth brushing I've instituted a new morning ritual.

Cuddle Cards.

I'd been meaning to get these for some time, and then they fell in my lap. Kinda like kids and cuddles. They're waldorf inspired positive affirmation cards for kids (and kid lovin grownups). This morning Nature Girl got "Friendship - What would you be without friends?" Both Wild Thing and I got Music cards. Today we'll think about and act on our Cuddle Card thought.

Nature Girl immeadiately remembered to put a notebook in her backpack to get neighbourhood kids' phone numbers. Wild Thing strolled away humming a seemingly Russian tune. I have been aware of how much I hum and sing us through transitions during the day.

They seem to be a very sweet way to make the day start out hopefully.

I no longer do New Year's Resolutions...

But I have been trying to prioritize the goals in my life after a long period where I feel like I've been stuck in a holding pattern.

Home:
-finish unpacking and organizing house
-establish some simple sane routines with the kids for housekeeping - Nature Girl and Wild Thing are going to start sorting the recycling for returns for instance. They get to keep the money
-Give the bedrooms and family room personality

Health:
- see the dentist regularly
- get asthma under control
- kids to see specialists that are not drug pushers

Spirituality:
-Officially Declare
-Virtues Project with Kids
- 12 Service Projects in next year - tiny steps

Work:
-Table at Farmer's Market for Toys
-Playgroup/part time daycare
-Submit work 2 x a year

Play:
-Date night 2 x a month
-Solitary artist's date 2 x a month

the 3200 km trip back to Quebec we just took was a piece of cake...

next to the daily walk to and from Nature Girl's school! We live on the very edge of Wolfville - across the street, orchards start, above our street is the highway. If you live in town limits there is no bussing to and from school. 100 metres from our front door, there would be bussing.

Going to school is relatively straightforward. Walk a kilometre through a nice forest full of trails and dogs and smiling happy people out for a daily stroll, a beautiful vista of the Minas Basin and Cape Blomidon down University Avenue until you reach Highland. Turn onto Highland and walk another kilometre. Try and keep your balance while going down the steepest street I've ever walked on in my life. It is so steep I actually worry I won't be able to stop at intersections as I'm holding back the jogging stroller.

Walking back again is daunting, not for Nature Girl, who has several hours to rest up before climbing back up the mountain that is Highland, but for me, pushing a jogging stroller with a 35 lb preschooler in it, and with a 16 lb Sprout strapped to my chest after just finishing the first leg of the journey. I got to do it TWICE today, going to school, and again after school.

Today I watched a mom ahead of us on Highland hauling a crying 6 year old up, over and over again, as she tried to lie down for a rest on the climb. I could sympathize, but Nature Girl got home and said "It is so much easier walking home than going to school!" My thighs and shoulders disagree.

On a positive note, I have no need for an expensive gym membership. If I needed any push to take classes at Acadia while the kids are at school, well, I can avoid the climb home for a few hours by attending a lecture!