Halfy Birthday Sprout!

While I'm still kicking myself for freecycling away most of Wild Thing's baby clothes - 75% of his wardrobe was really cool WAHM stuff - hand dyed, stencilled, patchy, handknit, reconstructed fun stuff - I'm an excellent thrift store shopper.

Sprout is growing like a weed so in honour of his first six months I went through his bins this weekend and pulled all the 0-6month sized stuff out and bagged it up for freecycling, only wincing once at the thought "if I give it away will I find myself pregnant again???" then dove into my bins of thrifted stuff. Bingo! A whole new wardrobe!

So here is his Halfy Birthday Outfit 100% recycled and reused ware! Doesn't he look pleased???

A Typical Weekend

Saturday morning the kids got up and ate the sugary cereal Papa Pan bought for them after swearing he wouldn't buy anymore. (Vanilla Mini Wheats in case anyone is interested, and I agree, they are delicious but they make it impossible for them to accept puffed rice as a cereal).





While we stumbled around and woke up and cursed the too finely ground coffee that clogged up the coffee maker, they played.





Much stuff from the playroom was brought upstairs and the bunkbeds became a 2 storey farm complete with rope pulleys to haul up buckets with.





When we were awake they ate their second breakfast (fried eggs, toast, and left over ham scrabble) with us.





Then we headed off to the Farmer's Market. They got apple juice popsicles and ran off with their friends while I bought organic seeds for the garden from Summer (who is moving in across the street from us!), talked permaculture with Lance, and preschool issues with Zanne, Selena, and our lawyer friend Kelly. It wasn't a deep conversation because all of us had little people pulling at us but we atleast got to connect for a few minutes. Sprout slept in the sling, and Nature Girl and Wild Thing got their traditional face paintings - a rainbow for Nature Girl and crocodile for Wild Thing. Then Nature Girl realized she could have gotten a full face painting and told everyone who would listen how she had squandered her money on a rainbow on her cheek when she could have had a whole rainbow butterfly face. I reminded her that next week was another chance to get it. Wild Thing begged for sushi. Papa Pan got more coffee and a coarser grind, bought our apple cider and talked TM, permaculture, Night Kitchen, and ending his commute with a teaching job closer to home with a bunch of people. We headed home when the eggs and ham wore off and had soup and tomato salad for lunch.





The kids went out to play in the snow and I curled up on the couch in a sunbeam and read the creative family while Papa Pan took Sprout with him while he ran errands (hardware store)





We made ginger carrot and coconut curry soup for dinner and celebrated Earth Hour with shadow puppets and THE BEST RECENT INVENTION ON EARTH - the handcrank flashlight.





The kids went off to bed after declaring we needed to do an Earth Hour every night - we agreed that it needed to be a regular occurance.





Sprout, who had napped frequently during the day stayed up til nearly 11 o'clock and then woke several times between eleven and 3am. At 3am Nature Girl woke up because of an ear ache and Papa Pan and I have been on call as doctor mom and pop since then. The Sprout was fretful until 7am.





We watched a ring neck pheasant strut around the yard as the snow fell early this morning. There was no cursing as the coffee was made, and Nature Girl cried as she told me that the Princess (who lives in her left ear - there are Mermaids in the right) was very frightened by the ear ache.





Wild Thing and Nature Girl watched Baron Munchausen as Nature Girl took to her sick bed and continued to be waited on. Many bananas were eaten. Much apple cider drunk. A pancake was nibbled. Then she fell asleep and I turned off the Baron and the Wild Thing complained heartily.





The Sprout finally woke up at 11am.



We ate waffles for lunch. Papa Pan made a weeks worth to keep in the freezer. They are full to the brim with multigrain goodness and big apple chunks, oh and gouda cheese we need to use up before we go dairy free (boohoo) - yummmm! Nature Girl sleeps on.



We discussed where to put our clothesline in the back yard.



I researched just what is in a disposable diaper and asked the question WHY are they not compostable??? Well it turns out, they really are - the mystery gel is PLANT GEL so even if the municipality won't compost them (human waste and all), I will in our backyard composter. If I haven't been bothered by little boy pee in the garden up til now I don't see what the issue will be. I'm trying to reduce the number we use anyhow.



Wild Thing asked me where I peed from without a penis and I tried to explain it to him. He listed everyone he knew with a penis. I asked him what was the difference between boys and girls and he looked dumbfounded. I asked again, "What do boys have that girls don't" His answer? "Weaponry"



Nature Girl woke up and ate a weeks worth of waffles. One At A Time. From the top of the bunkbeds, where she languishes still.



We put on our family standby - The Indian in the Cupboard, which Wild Thing adores and Nature Girl knows so well she could doze through it. It kept Wild Thing from bouncing on her while she rested.



I did laundry, folded laundry, put away laundry and reorganized Wild Thing's closet so he wouldn't dump out the folded laundy to make play places for his little people. Papa Pan cleaned out the fridge and cooked beets and put a clothing rod in one closet in he basement while I plotted getting rid of other closets in the house.



I lamented my lack of a mudroom then decided to DEAL WITH IT and drew up sketches for my front hall closet transformation.



Spoke with my mom on the phone for a few minutes while I thawed out dinner. Made dinner

Ate dinner.

Gave Wild Thing a bath and finished cleaning up his room while Nature Girl talked on the phone with her dad, stepmum, and Dark Mirror, then Wild Thing was cajoled into talking on the phone for a couple of minutes.

IMed with DarkMirror

Did more laundry

We did some online banking.



I wrote this while Sprout nursed. And nursed. And nursed.

I was supposed to build an heirloom quality toy wooden kitchen this weekend too. Ummmm...the dog ate my homework...

A Book Review

the creative family

How to Encourage Imagination and Nurture Family Connections

By: amanda blake soule

I've been waiting for this book to come out for so long! So when Papa Pan trudged up the walkway with that unmistakable brown box my heart did a little flip.

I don't read a lot of fiction. I get too wrapped up in characters and hate when the book ends and I'm left with an empty spot where they lived during the time I was reading. Also, I find it hard to follow stories when I am always being interrupted. (So far I've been interrupted three times in writing this) I like poetry because of this. I like non fiction, books that inspire me either with ideas and philosophy, or things to do. The best books combine all three. This is the kind of book you savour.

The book is smaller than I expected. This is not a bad thing, it's delightful actually. I decided long ago that good books should fit comfortably in a purse/diaper bag so that you can pull them out at random moments that present themselves during the day. They should not be so small that you need to squint to read them. They should have more presence than a paperback novel. They should be bound so they can stand up to life with children. Also, for some reason, square books make me happy, and this is very nearly a square book. It has built in bookmarks, very important with books that encourage you to make stuff. Judging a book by it's cover this is a very good book.

It is divided into 4 sections: gathering, playing, living, connecting. The projects are guided by four elements: self, child, family, community. There is a lovely balance to it all, a calm grounded feeling.

Yes there are suggestions for games to play, things to make, patterns, and lots of practical advise on creating an atmosphere where kids feel free to explore. Its also about how to create an atmosphere where children feel that you value their creative explorations and your own. BUT what I like best is the way Amanda invites you to look at the world fresh and new, the way your children do, to learn from your children's wonder.

There are lovely quotes on creativity sprinkled throughout by people like Plato, Rachel Carson, Einstein and the book is full of Amanda's beautiful family photos.

I already know, from reading her blog (Soule Mama), that Amanda and I share the same feelings about open ended natural toys and the value of unschooling. What she's accomplished with this book is to share how the philosophy works in real life without ever coming across as preachy or rigidly adhering to a single philosophy, or coming across as perfect. I can see this book inspiring all sorts of people in all sorts of families.

I've been involved with Waldorf inspired home education for a very long time so I was familiar with most of the craft projects she suggested. I'm totally enamoured with embroidering my children's art now, an idea that was new to me. The other thing that was new to me was the idea of craftivism - service projects that touch the local and global community through the act of making homemade necessary objects - like knitting hats and mittens for those in need. I have all sorts of ideas for projects now.

Some people might be wondering if they'll get anything new from this book that they can't get by simply reading Amanda's blog. The most valuable thing to me is that I can turn off the computer and tuck this book in my bag and read it in the stolen moments I get during the day. I can pull it out under a tree in the backyard while the kids set up their Little House on the Prairie scene , milking their imaginary cow (our dog is such a good sport). I can read it in bed while the Sprout nurses off to sleep. The kids can pull it out and pick a project and say "Can we do this today?". It can live in the pile of books on the coffee table and get dog earred being read so many times. This is definitely a book to savour.

IT IS SNOWING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rather than go on a homicidal rampage I went out and bought the most kick ass pair of puddle stompers I could find. The Viking Mariner - knee high, yellow, hand built and made of natural rubber.

Aren't they the most beautiful boots imaginable?

I'll be wearing them, come hell, high water, or arctic blizzard blast on monday. I'm going to kick March out on it's ass.

Sprout is too young for puddle stompers, next year I promised him, but he will be wearing his stripe-y leggings in solidarity.

Oh and blow this one up to see the TEETH in that mouth!!

Parenting Outside the Mainstream and the WWW

Once upon a time I was a feminist artist living in the big city. I got pregnant and planned from the beginning to have a homebirth, mainly because of all the feminist reading I'd done on the birth industry and what I perceived to be a misogynist birthing culture. I planned to nurse until my baby wanted to wean, and I planned to follow my instincts and parent my baby from the heart, instead of listening to our cultural messages about making babies learn to be self sufficient and independent through crying it out and sleep training.

I was amongst the first of my circle to have a baby. Those with kids had been teen moms, or lived far away. I found my support in my midwifery practice (and all the other moms I met there were either much older than me, from cultural enclaves that never abandoned homebirth, or were kinda freaky young people). Looking back I was a kinda freaky young person too, but I didn't identify with those I met. So I got my support in Mothering Magazine and in little zines like Compleat Mother. I felt, outside the mainstream, and isolated.

When Dark Mirror was a baby I got online for the first time. First with my local FreeNet and bulletin boards there. I was "aj982" at the Ottawa FreeNet. My brother Techwood set me up with a computer and an account. I still felt outside the mainstream but I met several people from that community bulletin board in real life who had similar birthing and parenting beliefs. They were still kinda freaky people, and I really didn't see myself as a freaky person. I had postpartum depression and my immune system had gone wacko with the pregnancy and I had developed something similar to Graves Disease http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graves-Basedow_disease,but it only affected half my thyroid. My marriage had started falling apart as soon as I got pregnant with Dark Mirror and I felt ashamed of what was going on and avoided old friends because if they knew, I didn't want them talking about it, or advising me to leave, or disapproving when I came back, or hearing everything that had been going on before I left was still going on. I felt, outside the mainstream, and isolated.

Then I discovered the WWW. Oh my goodness, I found all sorts of people who were like me, and almost all of us felt, outside the mainstream, and kind of isolated. We talked together, on line, about our sense of alienation. Combine that with being a stay at home mom and depression issues and it became really easy to use the web in lieu of any real community. The web was an outlet for all my academic feminist essay writing, and it let me discuss parenting in theoretical terms as well as dealing with the day to day stuff. It let me only expose my best self, the good in my marriage, the good in my parenting. I felt supported to hone my skills as a parent, and it took me even further away from the mainstream. Lots of people thought I was a freaky person, but lots understood me too. It was addictive. It took me out of the stream of my real life community all together, and caused even more isolation.

During that time there were several other moms who were way out on the fringes with their parenting. Some got put on a pedestal, others were demonized, all were, what the web thrives on - entertaining. I often think of Mangomama, of Hygeia Halfmoon, of Primalmom, of Nine, of Kashmir, of Earthmoon, of Mamakat, and others and how they became legends instead of moms. That takes you outside the mainstream, and is isolating too.

I broke my web addiction when something absolutely catastrophic happened in my life - I left my marriage for good when I was pregnant with Wild Thing. To survive emotionally I had to abandon some of the things I held sacred in my parenting and I learned to be a lot less rigid. I stayed off line for some time and made a real live community around myself, with people who had similar ideas about birthing and parenting. They had always been out there, I'd been locked away in front of a computer screen unable to find them. I got involved with Papa Pan, who was much more mainstream than me in many ways and a whole lot freakier in other ways. I got to teach him through example, the good in my parenting, and learn from him too. Outside the vacuum of my marriage I also had to address the really dark stuff going on with Dark Mirror and it was...liberating, and scary, and shook me to the core to have someone else say "This is not normal, this is not okay, and we'll get through it, but we need professional help" That support could only come in real life and it turned our lives around. It really saved Dark Mirror, and the rest of us too. We don't always agree on this parenting stuff and that's okay.

So today, as I was doing spring cleaning and preparing to tackle the mountain of laundry and recommitting myself to using our cloth diapers, and cloth wipes instead of toilet paper...I started remembering the discussions about using cloth wipes instead of toilet paper and how today, I don't even think its a big deal. I know several people who do the same for environmental reasons, to avoid rashes, because it makes sense for them. I don't even remember how the topic came up with them...but it wasn't an essay on the web, and it certainly wasn't a hill to die on...and that made me smile.

Lessons a Large Family Teach You

Nature Girl is obsessed with her birthday. She asks at least three times a week how far away it is and goes through the litany of birthdays before and after it. She asked us to participate in this, her mantra, on a car drive this weekend and Papa Pan said "You can't live like your birthday is the most important day there is." and I thought about it a bit and said , "but it *is* to her right now, and that's okay."

Nature Girl, more than anyone I know, lives in the moment. She is all joy all sunshine, or all storm and sadness. She is incredibly responsible when asked to look after a sibling, but can never find her underwear. She shares her candy and coins without a second thought, but can sneak away and guard a toy that really isn't "hers" to begin with. She is a bona fide MIDDLE child. Knowing her place in that is extremely important to her. This weekend she added to the birthday manta - she added the best and worst awards each child gets, Sprout won best and worst smelling (his natural smell is like a ripe peach but he has atrocious cabbage toots too), Wild Thing got the ugliest newborn-cutest toddler award (he looked like a red wrinkly bald old man at birth then blossomed into this beautiful little boy with glowing skin and golden curls), Dark Mirror got the biggest brain/most arcane knowledge-least practical knowledge (he can tell you everything about ancient Egypt and map the great pyramids but can't find where he lives on a map of Canada or pinpoint exactly what day his birthday is on with any great accuracy) Angel got awards for most hair as a baby, least as a teen (big beautiful curls as a babe and now its shorter than anyone else's and in spikes) and Nature Girl got the award for happiest baby, loudest cry, most beautiful newborn, tiniest ears, perfect birth, most distance spitting up...there are about ten more awards she gave her self, every one of them true. Like her special day, her birthday, it is very important that she knows that she is unique and special, and cherished for who she is.

And she is.

But it got me thinking about birth order and the role each of our children has played in the family. The Angel was an Only child for 13 years. Papa Pan, who loves children, never expected to have any more of his own and he and the Angel's bio mom made every effort to give him a really perfect childhood - involved dedicated parents, not stuff, time and energy and love. There was an adjustment period for him in finding his place in this big family we all formed and he took to the role of oldest wonderfully, he's responsible, driven, and a genuine "Good Kid" tm. He has that kind of calm take charge personality that means the Littles listen to him, and look up to him.

Dark Mirror was a "Lonely Only" for 7 years before Nature Girl arrived. Giving him a little sister was the best thing we ever did for him. Nature Girl taught him empathy, how to handle teasing, about accepting people's differences, about leaving his shell to be part of something bigger. Being Dark Mirror, he was never really comfortable with the responsibility of being an Oldest, and he quite comfortably abdicated that role to the Angel.

Nature Girl was meant to be a Middle, and at 4 I gave her her greatest wish - a baby. Wild Thing was the wrong sex, not as fun at first as she expected, and not as malleable as she'd like, but she tucked right into the role of big sister and adores her baby brother.

We expected Wild Thing to be our last child. So every milestone he reached was tinged with the slightest amount of sadness and everyone revelled in his babyhood. Really, he could have become a spoiled monster if it wasn't for the Sprout surprising us. Having a baby brother arrive when he was three rocked Wild Thing's world, but for the good. I see the friends they'll be already. Nobody cheers Sprout on in getting mobile more than the Wild Thing, who really wants him to be a playmate instead of a blob of baby.

Then there is the Sprout, who benefits from all these loving big brothers and sister. Who kinda, just kinda, gets taken for granted. He gets passed around easily between family members. We're all used to the special place babies hold in the family and there wasn't a big shift in making him fit in. It is just a nice relaxed fit, and that's the Sprout too, a nice relaxed baby. For me, there's no sadness when he reaches a milestone (he got his first tooth this past weekend) and no comparing to other people's babies either. And. The Sprout holds a special place in this family of bios and steps. He's part of EVERYONE. He's the glue that binds everyone together.

Finally, we have what we call the Conundrum...Dark Mirror, Nature Girl and Wild Thing have another new baby sister with their step mom and bio dad. We'll call her the Twig :-) Only months apart in age, Nature Girl is sure there must be a familial relationship between Sprout and Twig but we're not sure what it is, or how to facilitate it. We all agree it should be special though.

Anyone have any ideas?

Recovering from the excitement of driving, the easter bunny, and the flu...

Morning kids...
Space fort building...
Baby massages...